The Forbidden Game

by Deathwish   Oct 10, 2014


I played your Game
I followed your rules
I should be Free
But I am lost, aimlessly waking the ever changing halls of a paper doll house
I walked through flames
I went through your Carnival
I set others free
I solved your riddles
I should be free
Yet I stand on your Island, wandering in the dark
looking for the gold coins that gain access to another dark Island.
I stared into your Icy eyes
I kissed your soft lips
I tried to heal your broken soul
"All I refuse and thee I chuse"
I played my part,
"I am my only Master"
I played my part in your death
I played your Forbidden Game

(The quote "All I refuse and thee I chuse" is spelled correctly, it is old language so they never spelled anything right, so read the book
The Forbidden Game by L.J. Smith to fully understand the poem)

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    No problem hun take care and message me if you need me

  • 10 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    Since I've never read the book I have read some books by that author again I haven't read the book so let me interpret what you wrote alright?

    First off you don't have to use so many "I"s hun you really don't you put what you meant trust me in one long stanza you don't have to put so many of them.
    Second you didn't have to capitalize so many of the words you wanted since we know what you meant hun
    Thirdly I have a slight problem with one of the sentences hun in the poem "But I am lost," there's so many other ways of making that sentence be more beautiful and it should flow better besides that I loved the poem I enjoyed how dark it was, loved the quotations, here's one more critic comment is about the commas they should be sometimes moved in your poem it's still a beautiful poem either way 5/5

    -Mori

    • 10 years ago

      by Deathwish

      I had meant to capitalize them it was on purpose, as for the "I am lost" now I have a million thoughts in my head, so thank you :D

  • 10 years ago

    by gumshuda

    Nice poem...

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