Comments : Drifting Into Madness (Triple Senryu)

  • 10 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    First: No one can truly know how a person is feeling inside. And this first stanza does well to play with emotions. Though this person is crying they are trying to smile so they don't appear weak or helpless. The attention to detail here is stunning. The cheeks hold already fallen tears and more come from their eyes, and no one knows or can see behind that smile.

    Second: Depression can feel like you are going mad, also it tells me there are racing thoughts that are in her mind. The past is difficult to overcome and that is a great line, because it does go with the first stanza well. It seems like this persons worst fear is her past which makes since, but it also leaves the readers feeling something. You don't exactly know what this person has gone through so it leaves the mind to wonder.

    Ending- Memories from her past are coming back and she is fading into them fast and she haz no one there to save her. This Senryu is well drawn out and flows very well together. You put your truest emotions down here and did well to captive the audience. Well done.