Remain in Memories

~2012-2014

A parade of pity
marches through
this city in which
your hope and longing
for anything - anyone -
to drink the water
from your cold lungs,
softly spoke of
your disappointment

I'm out of sync.
The strangers are in control,
telling me to sit back
and enjoy the ride

Hypocrites,
caring after it's too late.
Culprits, demon-people,
fiends of greed and fear:

I never spoke more truly
than when I swore
that I would let you remain
in my memories
forever

But sometimes
my life feels just like
back when I was six.
I used to drown myself
in that bowl where my darkness
and six goldfishes used to live
just to see if I could still breathe
with my eyes closed.

Yeah, just to see if could still breathe,
with my eyes still closed.

But all I can think of now is the contrast
of your strawberry perfume
mixed perfectly against that
nauseatingly bad, cheap red wine.

All I can think of is how
we carved our names into that tree,
the one we buried our angels underneath;
and kept on dancing in the moonlight,
and whenever twilight would fall asleep,
so that our angels wouldn't feel lonely

But you lived your life like a funeral,
and turned our love for life into a hearse.
We were so young back then.
Yet the stars won't forgive us.

A thank you
will be the last farewell
you'll ever hear from me,
as I smash my head against
that silly little tree.

Because as dawn breaks,
and red moon sings,
I've realized that dying
is the only way
for some people to live
and breathe
with their eyes shut.

And so I'm sitting here,
with a bottle of your favorite bad wine.
You really had poor taste in alcohol, didn't you?
Wishing that we could see the stars again.

So even though I couldn't breathe
with my eyes closed,
I still want to be somebody,
even now that you're gone.

Even though the Goddess of Death
won't let you remain in my memories,
I still want to be somebody,
even though you're gone.