Comments : Pain killer

  • 10 years ago

    by Jad

    A very sad story, but a true story that so many people suffer with. It's so easy for people to try to relieve their pain by taking pills or by doing drugs to attain a temporary relief, and more often than not, people end up killing themselves. They may attain a eternal relief as you mention in the poem, but it's a cowards way out and one should fight for their life no matter how painful it is at the moment. Their will always be better days no matter how rough a time period may seem.

    Now the poem itself was a bit forced in areas because of the rhyming, but it still flowed good and the message is conveyed easily. Now, the message was told right to the point and it stayed true to most people who think pain killers and eventual death is the only way out. Now I know I said the rhyming was forced at times, but I did enjoy the rhyming. Not too many poems use so much rhyming now a days.

    All in all, you wrote a sad story with a permanent solution at the end. More often than not, the relief is always death and for many people, the help they need is too late. I hope you continue to write and learn from it. Great job and keep writing!

    • 10 years ago

      by alka mendiratta

      Austin,by taking a flight from worldly plane,is to let go the thoughts of our worldly affairs and work on our spiritual plane.When we are in prayer mode ,we are paying gratitude for what all we are bestowed with.
      So prayers and thoughts of our Creator do lessen our pain and yes finally when we reach His abode we get relieved of all our sufferings.
      Thank you for motivation, will be on the job to improve.

  • 10 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Alka, I agree on the message. Though I feel it's hard to communicate at times. It's not impossible but it is hard. Not many can do it. Faith helps. However, it requires patience. Above all, it requires faith, otherwise, i fear it may not work. People can pray and pray and at the same time, their faith instead of increasing, make them succumbs to disbelief. I also agree with Austin, a little more work on the rhymes could make the poem flow unforced but the poem as it is was successful in stating its content. Good job Alka.

    • 10 years ago

      by alka mendiratta

      Thank you Lucero!!!!
      Faith is the key word,agree with you.One has to be earnest and consistent in one's prayers.
      "One thing is certain:The power of belief,the power of thought,will move reality in the direction of what we believe and conceive of it.If you really believe you can do something,you can.This is a fact. When you clearly envision a victorious outcome,engrave it in your heart and firmly convinced that you will attain it,your brain makes every effort to realize the mental image you have created.And then through unceasing efforts, that victory is finally made a reality."President Ikeda

  • 10 years ago

    by Jyoti Rawat

    Hmmmmmmm
    Nice poem alka, choice of words to show hide pain, and get realize form them its rely nice.

    Good Work

  • 10 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Yes faith and that too un-shake-able, undying faith
    will help to get through it. Though there are also
    times even those with the strongest faith sometimes
    give in to pain, just before faith is born!

    A good message and uplifting. I too feel that some
    of the rhymes could be changed or not used just
    to make the flow more smoother. Other then that I
    liked this :)

    Take care and keep penning.