by Everlasting Oct 16, 2014
category :
Dark, fantasy /
other
Ha! Boy, you see! |
I enjoyed reading this poem! I really do think this was about a mental disorder? Or did I understand it wrong? The fact that the person is bascically on their own is a sad thing almost makes me think of scizophrenia since no matter where they are they are alone. The very fact that there was no one to help them shows you how the person is treated: poorly, like they (the other people) don't seem to care one whit if that person dies and if they die alone I bet they wouldn't call 911 if they did find them. Watching a t.v. that loud would make me want to smack them since I would keep the volume down and just in case if I hear something I would go and find out unlike the people in this poem. Also this is my last sentence, loved the imagery it was stellar regardless that you triggered my inner mom in me (which sucks), loved the way it flowed and I though it was nice the "ation" part in the first stanza maybe you did it before or after the whole what does .... have in common (yes I forgot what were the words I know it just had in common the logy part). Anyways great read 5/5 |
by Everlasting
This piece was about asthma, I was trying to capture the moment of frustration when asthma attacks. Thank you for your comment Mori! |
by Meena Krish
I see science and poetry coming along here hand in hand. |
This poem took me on a trip upon a magic swirling ship . I am speachless |
by Jad
Your poems are such a joy to read. The complexity and the story like telling of the poem is incredible and very enjoyable. This poem was even more enjoyable due to the fact that you used quite a bit of medical information in the middle and also by your ending. I like the ending because it leaves a question to the reader to answer. Is it true or not true, referring to the paranoid and out to get me line. You leave it open and let the reader decide for themselves, which I think is nice. I always like to either have a very strong ending or a ending that makes the reader stop and think. Both are great ways to end a poem. |