They never tell you
When growing up
How hard it actually is
How many times you feel like you're losing a grip
On everything in life.
When they say you'll understand when you're older
They didn't tell us what that meant.
They didn't say there would be nights
Where you just want to kill yourself
Rather than deal with the pain of the next day.
They didn't tell us
About red-stained wrists
We would hide from the people
Who SHOULD love us
Who SHOULD be there to help.
They never mentioned
That everyone would leave
The second you needed them most
Or the fact that
Depression would slowly swallow you whole
Suffocating the life out of you
Until you do something to bring it out again.
No one told us
About how to deal with the struggles
The trials of life we face
They only said
Get good grades
Smile
Work hard.
Never did they tell us
That our emotional health was important
Or that we should work towards one thing
Happiness
They never said that our opinions would matter
Or that scars would plague us for eternity.
Maybe they didn't say
Because they thought it wouldn't happen to us
Because maybe it wouldn't find us
The cruelty of the ignorant
The words that stab us like knives in our backs.
Maybe them not telling us
Would keep us safe from it all
But it backfired instead
We felt it all and 100x more
Because we didn't know
Because we didn't realize what was happening
Until it was too late.
Maybe if they taught us about depression, suicide, self harm, and how to prevent it
How to love ourselves
Or how to be strong even when it's hard
Maybe then
We wouldn't lie awake at night
Drawing blood from our arms
Writing out our death
As we tie nooses
And set up chairs in our rooms.
Maybe if we knew how to handle this
We wouldn't want to die
Maybe we would find strength so much sooner.
Maybe then
We could love ourselves.
