Etched

This is an incredibly beautiful poem Polly, it really touched me.I have two pieces of friendly criticism though,1: perhaps you could break the poem into stanzas to give the reader a bit of breathing space (a bit of the message always tends to get lost with a layout like this) and 2: the three lines"cause no amount of tears....no amount of pain"in reading these lines it felt a bit like I was trudging through a mental swamp of sinking sand,I dunno perhaps this is the feeling you aspired to achieve? If not I would suggest that perhaps you try combining the three lines in one and for effect, seperate this line from the others, making it a sort of focal point :-) other than that I thoroughly adore this poem :-) also I have a query,I got a sort of double message in reading this piece, the first is that the poem is dedicated to a lost lover, the second is that the poem is dedicated to a lost child, perhaps a miscarriage...?

This poem is so adorable! I know it's a horrible thing to say on a sad poem but it really is the flow of the poem was just beautiful and not to mention that all the time till the end it doesn't tell you who exactly died but you can tell it was your unborn child...I do understand that the pain of losing a child in a miscarriage will forever leave you scared inside and that no one can heal your pain but this poem is too beautiful too bad you put the word "cos" instead of "cause" since it's the correct spelling not only that I would've have nominated had I could have since it's just too beautiful and tragic but just beautiful in my opinion. That being said loved reading this poem! I will hopefully (if I'm not too busy with school) read more of your work. 5/5

-Mori

A Heartrending read. Most beautifully written. What more can I say. My thoughts are with you and your little one.

Heartbreaking. I feeling anything else i could say would be greatly inadequate.