All I Am

I had it in me
That I let them all down
Youth full of secrets, lies and destruction
Now I have no secrets
Deplore lies
But still find destruction
It's so easy
I don't even have to leave the safety of my home
Flesh is the best of ways
Sweetest of ways
It's a hard knock life
But the flesh is so soft
So soft
And you melt into it
Like ice on a hot day
And they become your lemonade
Sweet and sour
You drink the bitter, sugar water like an ant preparing for winter
Tucking away whatever you can
To save for the inevitable cold, lonely days
That are sure to find you again
Because they always do
They find everyone
But not everyone cares
They have patience
I have none
Not for loneliness
It's so empty
And the flesh will never keep you full
It is like diet love and affection
One benefit and no rewards
A stagnant pool of rotting dreams
Bathing our ever decaying minds in false hope
That through one encounter with the flesh
Someone will be empty enough
That it makes them feel full
And you will once again be a hero
You will save them from themselves
And fill them up with everything you need or want them to be
And I feel like I let them all down
Because all I ever end up being
Is me