Deceitful Truth

by cassie hughes   Nov 4, 2014


Wrong, I was so wrong
yet how could I suppose to know
this feeling wasn't one
I was allowed to have?
My heart beats faster.
I try to quell its too insistent beat
but feel my failure
as for shame it thunders on
without a care.
Oh, would that I could
repair back to the time I had
no knowledge of your form
or of your figure.
Before the beginning of
this infatuated love
I know is not built
upon stone but upon sand.
'Tis true, I yearn but
as I tell myself to listen
to my head and not my heart,
I know deep down within
my love,
it will not wither.
So silence becomes friend
as I acknowledge to myself
alone the truth I hide
from everybody else.
The wretched lie
I am become.

Written for a club challenge to include the words Before the beginning in the poem and Truth or False in the title

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Latest Comments

  • 10 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    Emotional that I will say since it's about a broken heart somewhere in the poem, the flow was a bit off since at times it would flow nicely and then it would become bumpy, the imagery beautiful to say the least but you could've made it even more so since you could've done the flow better so change words a little here a little there and the poem will be perfect to perfection that being said nice poem Cassie

    -Mori

  • 10 years ago

    by cassie hughes

    Just want to say the wording is exactly how I wanted it here. I chose to deliberately try for an archaic feel that is why the the beginning says could and suppose instead of was and supposed and why the other corrections Baby Rainbow has suggested will not be taken up at this time even though they are much appreciated.

    Just me being quirky I guess.

  • 10 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Wrong, I was so wrong
    yet how could I suppose to know

    - the word "could" here, should be "was"
    and the word "suppose" should be "supposed"

    "how was I supposed to know"

    Before the beginning of
    this infatuated love
    I know is not built
    upon stone but upon sand.

    - this is my favourite part - I really like the idea of love being built on something, and here it compares something real and lasting like stone, against something like sand which is easily blown or washed away.

    So silence becomes friend

    - silence becomes "a" friend

    I am become.

    - I have become!

    Thank you for taking part - you did well, and I liked your approach to the challenge. Great title choice too!

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