First: This is such an epic start. It really sets up the rest of the poem well. With this person or animal you are connected to this always and that tells me you have fond or bad memories and either way can affect how you see them.

Second: now this is interesting, there are a lot of ways you could be stating this. First off you could be talking to your mirror reflection, and every time you look into your own eyes you see "him" whoever he is affected your whole life. Or it could be a friend or animal you are talking about as well. But I believe you are the only narrator of this and you are speaking for yourself, interesting twist.

Third: you searched for this person all of your life and couldn't find them at all. Nicotine reminds you of them because they smoked or chewed, and proves that anything can be a reminder. We are all different in that way.

Fourth- At first I thought this might be about you but I feel like it could be someone who has passed away or disappeared from your life, someone who was close to you, that you never got to say goodbye to.

Ending: Flashbacks can definitely lead to PTSD and in the end that is dangerous. This is a great write full of heartache and emotion. 5/5