by Quinn Specht Nov 15, 2014
category :
Dark, fantasy /
other
Right now, in this moment.....I feel nothing but dispair....nothing but pain. |
There's a few misspellings here, just be cautious of that next time. I feel in the opening lines you could use dashes or commas, and that maybe the ellipses are a bit too overused. I also think when your voice comes through and very direct like with the line "Don't touch me" you could put that in quotes or even in brackets to distinguish it from the rest somehow. |