Comments : Demons within

  • 10 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    There's a few misspellings here, just be cautious of that next time. I feel in the opening lines you could use dashes or commas, and that maybe the ellipses are a bit too overused. I also think when your voice comes through and very direct like with the line "Don't touch me" you could put that in quotes or even in brackets to distinguish it from the rest somehow.

    I really like the line of "My angels are all gone." like your hope and those who understood you have disappeared. When I think of angels I either think of them fixed in heaven or one by our side like a guardian angel, but now you have me thinking more on terms of those who support us, lift us up on earth that we call our angels.

    Neat concept at the end of accepting the darkness, I don't think I've heard it worded quite like that before. We all have a dark side I believe, and sometimes it seems to control us. Do we banish the darkness or invite it in?

    Keep writing and sharing.