Failure

I sit here now with written across my arm,
I'm trying to leave the blades alone.
I don't want to slip back into self harm,
I don't want to stay here; please just let me go home.
I can feel those urges and voices coming back,
I don't want to slip back down that slope.
The lights are once again fading into black,
I don't want me neck to fall back into the rope.
You tell me I'm just like the rest,
You tell me I'm not worth anything; that I'm nothing.
That I'll never be the best,
I look down at my arm and just like everyone even my bloods leaving.
I'm just wanting to be me,
Maybe this just isn't good enough.
Why can't you people just see and just let me be,
Why can't I be god enough.
I don't know what to do,
Maybe if I ran a mile.
How to be good enough for you,
That'd show me a glimmer of your smile.
I'm here alone kneeling,
Your name is what my minds screaming.
Oh God I keep bleeding,
Now your it's even my dreams that your stalking.