Hi there, im kinda new but I had to just say hi....this write is captivating....

"and for a time that even the clocks despise,
she reread a suicide note
with eyes longing for
perishing things and falling words."

Honestly, this is outstanding.

I'm not very techinical and so it is not a really insightful review admittedly but i had to say something :-)

What a sad piece.

I can imagine the loneliness inside this moment, the darkness as company and how tiredness will not allow itself to sleep. I like how you used objects in the room to show that they were sleeping, and the bed as being half dead!

The rings in the chair made me think? Perhaps that is one of those eye trick moments in the dark where you can't make out what certain shapes and objects are?

The mention of the suicide note was unexpected, and I wonder if this is a note the character has written herself as she contemplates her life? Or if it is that of a lost loved one, and she cannot help herself but return to it and long for that person back? I don't like the use of the word "a" for suice note, perhaps you could make it more personal and informative by using his,hers, their? Which would inidicate if you mean your own, or someone else's?

I find your writing very interesting, and very thought provoking.

There is so much loneliness within the piece, you really do captivate the reader though. It's like you give each object a certain feeling, and you give it a perspective. The metaphors are creative and not over played at all. This character shows so much sadness within themselves. The bed is half empty without your other half and you give it your voice of sadness. Curtains and cabinets sleep, tell me they are closed and haven't been opened in a long time. You cannot eat or don't want to see the outside world. The suicide note that is what is making you feel so down. I love this piece. 5/5