Exile Heart

by Baby Rainbow   Nov 24, 2014


Drifting from station to station
with a thorn in my side from your absence,
I'm setting a new world record for
the isolation of my rolled gold heart.

Isn't the miracle of love all we ever look for
on the threshold of a lonely dream?

But the plain and simple truth reveals
that not even the prettiest star could
take my pain away when tomorrow comes.

Because depression holds more power
in the darkness, and I fear that I have
grown accustomed to the exile on the
main streets of my mind;

leaving love impossible to find.

Saffie
23

24/11/14

*Prompts given by Zabadak:

On the threshold of a dream
plain and simple
exile on main street
a new world record
station to station
rolled gold
power in the darkness
when tomorrow comes
thorn in my side
the miracle of love
take your pain away
the prettiest star
all we ever look for

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  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Drifting from station to station
    with a thorn in my side from your absence,

    ^^The word thorn here points out even makes the reader feel the pain of absence of a dear one. That line is enough to show your pain.

    Isn't the miracle of love all we ever look for
    on the threshold of a lonely dream?

    ^^You are right here. Love seems like a cure for everything and the one thing we all look for; that too in a lonely dream...liked that usage here!

    Because depression holds more power
    in the darkness, and I fear that I have
    grown accustomed to the exile on the
    main streets of my mind;

    ^^Depression sure has power, one that is very hard to overcome and one that leaves you alone and empty. So much so it becomes part of your life, that you would rather deal with this then start all over again. That is what I get from this moving stanza!

    leaving love impossible to find.

    ^^When all that happens love is indeed hard to find let alone to be tasted again..touching write.

  • 9 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    I thought that this waswonderfully penned. A write to identify with. 5/5