Retrospect

by Karla   Nov 27, 2014


When you sit in front of the glass
and the water reflects your face,
it is there, looking back at you
as if there was something you hid
from your fractured soul.
so you close your eyes slowly and
feel everything again till your body bends down low
and your hands cover your ashamed heart, protecting it
from your fury,
from your fears,
from your pain.

your muscles ache,
and a thousand words you should have said
dissolve your skin, reaching yesterday,
withering every inch of you but you resist
the years, the transfixed moments,
the threads love weaved around you
because you are so young and wild:
your ideals come first. your hate comes first,
your country comes first and
it is a passion, a wound, a devotion.
just a few can understand
your disheveled hair and moans.
you don't need life. it is life that needs you.

sometimes you feel less strong
and more grotesque.
it is when the moon rises
and the world is in a drop.
you don't believe in miracles anymore
and today is not enough.
you need twenty years
or maybe what you can't admit
even to yourself.
it is too late to feel the flowers
in your hair but you still feel them
and the hands holding them.
for some minutes life has another name
and you find out a face beneath
your face.
but when you contemplate
the water in the glass,
it is only you so you back off
afraid of your pieces refracted
on it because you are
still there but the form
and the content clashed long ago.
and what you see is so distorted
and frightening.

karla bardanza

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by Ray Blue

    Great choice of word- "Fractured soul."
    Your poem is very moving.
    Great work, a masterpiece!

    Cheers,
    Ray

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Honestly I too find it hard to comment when a write like this has such strong and emotional waves to it. It has something even more deeper then what the reader can comprehend thus to leave a weak comment will be unjust!

    As always Karla, your poetry has a way to be so captivating and realistic that your voice could be heard.

    Congratulations on the win!

  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I completely agree with Lostlove1 with the comment about your poetry being strong. You have a distinct voice in each poem and this is no exception.

    I really like how you made a connection with the reader, and with the parallelism of "from your fury, from your fears, from your pain" - something anyone from any part of the world can relate to.

    These lines spoke to me as well:
    "you don't need life. it is life that needs you."

    - Something darker in this thought. Like you are not holding on as tight anymore, but life keeps intertwining and forcing you to face this, this reality. The ending lines are also powerful and make me think of those moments we may be disgusted at ourselves for our choices, or we don't have clarity, our lives are twisted and distorted from what we imagined.

    Congrats on the win, Karla!

    Wonderful introspection in this poem!

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    So your close your eyes slowly

    - you have a double "your" here, I assume you mean "so you close your eyes slowly"

    The imagery in the first stanza of this poem is so vivid, with the reflection in that glass, and I got that picture of the character curling up in the foetus type position, clutching their heart. I also like how you use the closing of the eyes to be able to feel your body again. I picture a window here, with rain on the outside of it?

    This line:

    and a thousand words you should have said
    dissolve your skin....

    I love this line and it has such a huge impact on the poem by really emphasising that regret, that holding onto the past and things you wish you had said. Very powerful line!

    I feel this poem is so gifted with the way you explain your thoughts, and how life has been for you. Your confidence in yourself is low, and this reflection shows that, you cannot even bring yourself to accept the reflection, or own it. The word distorted really fitted in with my imagery of the window and rain, almost smudging your reflection.

    I can relate to this poem and feel quite connected to it, thanks for sharing.

    • 9 years ago

      by Karla

      Great comment.

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Agreed, this poem is very strong in it's wording. It is difficult to comment on but I will try. It seems to me that you are contemplating life here. You are looking at yourself in a reflection and wondering what happened. It is getting more difficult to wake up. You are ashamed of your heart because it hurts and you do not want it to feel anything. Even love, because it has disappeared from your life. There is so much more you could have said but didn't and now you regret that. Is it too late? No never but struggle is real. It's difficult to overcome something when you feel lonely. I love how you can get your feelings out in such a way that leaves you wanting more. Great write.

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