Comments : Asphyxiant

  • 10 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Oh my word!
    this poem is amazing, such a powerful story and really deep meaning.

    That opening stanza was so short and quick, and said so much. The setting of that prison chamber was well done.

    The line of being accepted like a death sentence... what a great metaphor to use.

    Your last stanza was amazing, leaving that unknown mystery thought that will never be answered.

    I could relate to this poem as a battle against yourself, I feel there was one character here battling with themselves through depression. Your last line was so powerful and to hold it on its own, in brackets for yourself, was just perfectly delivered.

    Great title choice, really fits in with the poem and that breath being taken away.

    I really liked this guinea pig.