Devil's Lies

These insecurities are constantly telling me that you deserve better. Whether this be true, it is these insecurities that are tearing me away from you. But hey, I want us to be together through the good and stormy weather.
I screw things up way too much. I upset you, and then I feel even more like I'm not enough.
I'm trying to fix the problems of our past, and maybe build to a future. But sometimes my insecurities wreck everything, and I turn into a psychotic creature.
So many thoughts rushing through my mind at a time. I freak out. I'm losing you...I'm a manipulator??? Those words don't compute?!?! I'm the reason why we're having another dispute!!! I'm a psycho...a freak!! I'm on a roll with this loser streak!! The demons see now that I am weak so they begin to creep. That's when you see the side of me that I try so hard to keep hidden in the dark. This self-loathing is really tearing me apart. Us apart.
But with this pen in my hand letting these words flow, watching them grow and unfold, I realize by reading what I write that I do not want to live this life that's filled with so many insecurities, doubt's, and lies.
God, help me!! Help me out of this pit that I've dug for myself!! Help me rise out of this tormented place that I dwell. Help me to be far away from the lies that the devil constantly tells.
He's trying to keep me down in the dark now that I'm reaching for Your light. Embrace me! Don't let me leave Your sight. Keep me protected as I fight to keep out of reach from the devil's lies.
Shield my ears from the whispers of my fears. Help me to stay positive, confident, and wipe away my tears.
Let me love my self for You love me. Self-loathing isn't good for my sanity. Its keeping me in despair to where I only see the darker side of things.
Lord, this is my prayer to You. Bathe me in Your presence. Keep me in Your light. I've wandered for far too long I've forgotten the warmth of Your smile. Keep me strong, brave, patient by Your side. No longer let Satan's lies penetrate my mind....
I guess for now my soul is at ease as God's presence settles in I can peacefully sleep for I am no longer deceived by those lies that the devil speaks...