For being your first piece here this is really, really well written. I think that you could do with some capitalization or periods, but otherwise, it is really well penned. The story line is completely there. The tone is clear and loving, your voice shines through beautifully and your flow isn't bad at all.

4/5 and welcome to poems and quotes.

Cupcakes?? :D
Oh my goodness, this is so sweet. (:
I like it.

Maddy told me about your little dream, she enjoyed hearing of it so much. I cant believe she got you to write something

Nice writing dude, as the others said you could do with some commas and periods just to break it up a little, on the whole though, great write.

I liked your use of language, if you don't mind a tip, especially with love poems, use commas or periods when what you've just said needs to stick, it will give your writing so much more gravity :)

I hope you don't mind the comment, just some friendly advice is all :)

Not that it was bad before, but nice job with the updating and reworking a little bit. I like the way it reads a little bit easier now and how you added more emphasis (therefore sharing your heart a little more) to some places giving the piece a little flavor if you will.

Nice job!