Desperation

I look in the mirror and start to cringe.
It's myself I hate as I pick up my syringe.
I want to cry but I no longer feel.
My own reflection just doesn't seem real.
I try to remember who I used to be.
But I've become just a fading memory.
I never thought it would have this control.
I gave it my mind, my heart, and my soul.
I have given into the demons inside.
Trapped in a needle I have screamed and cried.
Wondering if there's anyone left who cares.
That I'm shouting, dying inside these nightmares.
I wanna wake up, pretend it was all just a dream.
Instead it's reality and all that it seemed.
So I'm all alone in this prison I built.
Behind my bars I watch my world wither and wilt.
I pray to a god in which I do not believe.
Knowing it's my devils I long to deceive.
I've made my heart so cold and numb.
So to my poison I surrender and succumb.
I apologize to those who say they care.
But my burdens are not yours to bare.
Yet I laid them on you and walked away.
Now there's nowhere to go and nothing left to say.
But remember me not for who I was in the end.
Remember me when I was a mother and a friend... by Sammie 2014