I like the way your voice and your idea come through this piece so well. I hope all is well, but I love how you actually made this one a challenge, even for me, to understand. Great word choice and interesting style choice paired with your chosen set up.

Making my heart and body,
long, (and)
need,
to be embraced by the forces of possession
^
The words in parenthesis is I think would've been better because it just I don't know sounds wrong.

I think I want to laugh and no, I don't mean to insult you but when it comes to people "saving" anyone I find it funny since my parent's motto to me was "If you want to be saved, save yourself don't wait for Prince Charming, he isn't coming to save you", besides my snarky comment (which I apologize for) I think this poem has nice imagery, the emotions are there, and the concept was nice but I don't necessarily love the poem. Don't worry you are still young in poetry as everyone else is! Keep writing! 4/5

-Mori