by BlueJay
I really really like the concept of this poem but the repetition was kinda distracting after a few lines... though this could be my own personal distraction/disliking. I think you did a nice job of making each line something so many people can understand at some point in their life if not at all times (though it is sad that the world has come to that). My favorite stanza by far is the ending, you not only wrapped everything up and show a change of heart but you sort of give all those people who relate a reminder of the hope thats out there too. |
by Wicked Ways
Damn |
Love the piece, the hopes it bestowed at last. Keep the pen alive my friend. |
by Sunshine
I think there is no human-being who cannot relate to this poem. I personally did not find any problem with your repetition. My only problem was that your last 4 lines verse was weaker than the rest of the poem, structure wise. |