I'm still blushing lucy ...^_^...
I wanted to be the first one to comment and I have.
My minds blank because I'm still smiling so I'll properly comment later. :-D

Dude this is complex like really complex but the effect it created was phenomenal,plus the incident itself is (well I can't find the correct word so I'll use) awakening it makes you think cause this is something i share too, what's my obsession!? And there I go staring at the thing in front .Great poem!

I thought I would comment on this later but lol... I'm still blank.
And I'm still smiling reading this poem.
Deee...

You are obsessed with my questions.
Oopsyyy.

I wish I could write like you... Just take all the words, conversations and facts and everything and put it into a poem and that to no free verse but a clear pantoum.

Wonderful sweet luce.
Wonderful.

Two Words.....Freaking.......Awesome.

That is all.

:)

Great job. :)

I saw this on your blog (I found it while reading Mark's) anyway, I loved it! I thought a proper poetic type comment would be more fitting here than the blog though so:

I love the way you played with a new (or at least unusual) format here. There is a really cool feel to this piece and a very well expressed voice. The way you told your story and captured your moment to share with us was lovely. The repetition was almost perfectly done. I love the word choice as well, very well used.

The way you talk about poetry as your obsession really got me interested in this piece because as an author why wouldn't your style have such a strong hold on you? Or rather when you are an avid (insert appropriate adjective and profession/hobby here) why wouldn't you be obsessed with the things you'd love to sit around and do all day? Then you transform that thought into being obsessed with the thought itself simply because you want to tell her that youre obsessed with something that might amuse her or at least impress her. Love it!

Great piece.

I'm honestly not a fan of pantoum poems, but you tackled it in a manner befitting a poet! Execution was on point, though I honestly was not a fan of the line "At least a young beau". I understand the concept you're trying to purvey, but the line itself was a bit dry and, no affront intended, worded poorly. I doubt I could do better, as they've always said that the reader has the easy job.

Nonetheless, wonderful poem once again. Keep at it!

5/5
IdTakeABulletForYou