Comments : Into The Stars

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I know you will be here always
    And you will be missed
    Memories we will carry
    In our hearts and breast

    - The only small part I didn't like about this poem was the word "breast" in this stanza, for me it just doesn't fit. I think it would sound better if you chose another word for it instead, but that is just my opinion.

    The rest of the poem I liked, especially in the opening stanza. I hope you pick a title for this write.

  • 9 years ago

    by ah satan 666

    @.@!!!

    I think...

    "Across the universe Into the stars"
    Or just "Into the stars"

    Would be a nice tile for this write???

    My favourite stanza...

    "Who would've thought
    You'd go so soon
    Wings upon your back
    As you fly to the moon"

    Has a soothing orah about it :)

    Very nice piece, heart felt

    5/5