Only if I could

I just want to hate you
Like I never loved you
Prefer to have nightmares
Than these memories
I just want to get brainwashed
Like I was in a coma
So I don't have the feeling of loving you
Or the knowledge of loving you
I just want it to go away
I just want to hate you
I don't want to feel this pain
All you ever did was let me down
Neglecting me because of your insecurities
Telling me you'll never do it.again
Then doing it much worse every time
Leaving me numb
To my own feelings
Confused with my emotions
Only because one day I can't feel
Then the next I feel hurt
Like a spear through my heart
Only if I've never met you
Stayed single
I wouldn't be feeling this way
I just want it to go away
I just want to hate you
I don't want to feel this pain
Which leaves me saying
Only if I could hate you