Comments : Dark Innocence

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Ooft Sir!

    What an avenue to take this poem down. Well done for the use of your prompts, I think you have blended then together neatly and so powerfully.

    The content of the poem is such a strong subject too, the downloaded child prompt was used so well here. I like how didn't focus on that child though, and instead mentioned their families and the portraits that no longer have this child in them. That was a touching imagery to hold.

    I think the five senses works very well in this poem, and the message within, because it is up to us all to use our senses, to see, to hear, to speak up for these "downloaded" children, and to try and make sure there are no more victims.

    Argh... in love with this piece!
    Well done.

  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Wow, this is such a serious, disturbing, real, saddening issue that you have brought to the eye. You pack so much conviction and expose this horror with much truth and emotion about the impact on the victims and families. It makes me wonder what's being done, how the children can recover and feel safe after being used for that, and where else human trafficking is that we may be ignorant to. I think even in the sharing of videos on the internet with inappropriate content, the viewers are realizing that some are children involved but act like it's not bad. Exploitation of the innocent is something that goes against our humanity, our heart, our rights... I just can't imagine how some would accept this or encourage it.

    Such a strong message here. That last stanza gave me chills.

  • 9 years ago

    by GB

    Congratulations, Larry.
    A great message, strong verse and so much wisdom.

  • 9 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    First, congratulations on the win! A very well-deserved win I must add :)

    I love the powerful message of this poem. It's such a heartbreaking subject - and it's hard to even imagine the families and children who are going through this.

    This poem really touched me. Well done Larry!

    • 9 years ago

      by Larry Chamberlin

      Thanks, GB & Sarah, and thanks Saffie for the prompts & the nomination.

      In my business I run across this issue all too frequently. I hope there is progress in eliminating the perpetrators.

  • 9 years ago

    by Everlasting

    I identify with the third stanza. Congratulations on the win.

  • 9 years ago

    by Dark Secrets

    Wow! You are amazing!

    You tackled the issue wonderfully. Your imagery shows the brutality of the situation, and that third staza is just genius! I think this is the first time I read free form from you, it's different.

  • 9 years ago

    by JaneDoeWrites

    Loved this piece. I admire poems that speak volumes with such few words. This was very well penned. I would like to point out though, that I believe it should be written "begging" in the final stanza, with a comma behind sleep... unless I'm reading something wrong! Great write however (:

    • 9 years ago

      by Larry Chamberlin

      Thanks, JDW, the line reflects the age old problem of thinking more than what I put into it.

  • 9 years ago

    by Ziad Dib Jreige

    Yep yep
    with the submission of time
    generations are going into that "digital matrix of black boxes"

    interesting topic

    best regards

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    A very sad, painful, disturbing and destructive issue it is indeed. Within this short write you have brought into focus the pain and emotional turmoil of a family who go through this. Its a pity...no a its a real wicked world what technology and predators can do to innocent lives...moving write.

    Congrats on the win!

  • 9 years ago

    by BlueJay

    Judging Comment

    This piece captures the true horror of the world. Not that the world is only dark, but it shows just the depth of the darkness so many people live through while so many others refuse to acknowledge. There is a simple shock factor to this piece that really makes it jump off the page and leave the audience wondering what they read and reading it over and over again looking for more meaning. It used the prompts seamlessly and made a phenomenal impression. Well written darkness.