A confession; an apology

Dear reader,

Forgive my ramblings.
It's been a while, since I sat here
like an abandoned newspaper
on the tabletop of a cafe,
full of stories, full of crossword puzzles
to be filled in by strangers.

It's been a while since I eavesdropped
and half-doubtedly shared with you
my opinion on today's society
or the way the sun shines prettily
during winter, when I'm riding
the bus, looking for peace
in the blurry landscape.

Truth is, I'm in love,
both with sadness
and a boy who keeps sailing
in my mind - but these days
I'm unclasping the sadness
from my soul, although
the withdrawal effects
won't let me go.

So let me be self-centered,
just for a little while.
Drown with me so that I can learn
to breathe underwater, this world
isn't always full of life. I'm breathing,
but not living, even though
he's keeping my heart beating.

Let me write until pixels
become reality, and thoughts
become fiction. Teach me
to write like I used to,
with my heart as curious
as the child I used to be.

Yours sincerely,

Saerelune