Not bad for your first poem in 6 years!

First of all I like the fact that this in the love section and not in the sad/depressing.

Overall i enjoyed reading this poem, it flowed well and you did well on the ryhmes. They didnt seem forced. rhyming is fairly hard to do without forcing them.

There are 2 stanzas that seemed abit off for me, though this is my opinion.

"I tremble at the thought now;
I've learnt from my mistake.
I ignored all the warning signs
and walked right toward my fate."

^^ "walked right toward my fate" to me seems there is an extra syllable that dosnt need to be there. Kind of broke the rythm for me when i was reading.

"I find my shadow shows the secret mirrors cannot see.
The truth is: I am in the dark
where light can never be."

Maybe put a break for the last line?
To me i was expecting a final fourth line but then got nothing. I think the break would also add a more dramatic effect for your ending.

This kind of poem is right up my street, as i write similar poems. It tells a good story. Whilst still getting your feelings out. Your use of words were very good.

"I looked for love in gilded lust"

^^ is my favourite line! Beautifull!

I tend not to comment on the feelings in poems, they are yours and who am i to criticise them!.

Keep writing!

5/5 for me

=O I thought there was a mistake when I saw a post from you. I've been going back and reading old stuff, but I'm happy you're back :) as far as the poem goes, it's hard to tell you haven't written in so long. It flows really well and the rhyming is great for a piece like this. I hope I get to read more from you soon!

Glad to see you back! Also, with such a wonderful piece!

I love it ;o

Smooth rhyming, and interesting imagery throughout the piece, glad to see you writing again, as you didn't change your screen name I recognized you and I still remember your posts in the forums as well.
Something about poetry keeps attracting us to this site.

Thank you for sharing.

Welcome back to writing! Something I find hard to do... I thought the rhyme scene flawless and the rhythm and flow well constructed! Except for the wee bit in the last verse! Love the title... Ties in well with the third verse:

"There's never hope in cemeteries:
Dead is always dead"

My favorite lines! Realizing the inability to resurrect a lost love...

For me it was a good return to writing for you... My one small criticism is the ending

"I find my shadow shows the secret" feels a little too long...Maybe drop the "I find" for better flow?

Great job and welcome back!

I really did enjoy this in every way imaginable

There is every reason to enjoy this piece.
Welcome back to writing.
Hope to read more of your pieces.

A good rhyming piece here...
welcome back to writing, a powerful read.

I have always found that when in darkness there is always light. Cemeteries are significant to breeding a new birth sort of speak.

Its very interesting and captivating; Your title.

A new poem from you within many years.. Being in the dark so long and now you start to shine, it also ties in nicely with the message.

To have a heart broken can be a devastating moment in time... Very happy to read this piece from you, lots of angles can be taken when reading this piece. Powerful indeed!

I like this poem. It flowed well, with the words merging into the next line effortless, and that means a lot to me. Love. I am convinced that love causes more pain and suffering than anything else in this world. Enjoyed the sad, but well written poetry.

Fragile first line that truly shatters the heart of the reader here. Trust is such a broken word that can mean a multitude of things. Here though you show the darker side of it and the impact it can leave us when it is broken. The first stanza sets up nicely with the rest of the poem, because you show us the plot of the poem right away and it makes us think, where could this lead, you tease us but leave enough vague lines to make us want to read more into the story.

You see all the signs but now it is too late to change what you wanted to change from the past, but I sense there is a lot of regret within this main characters insides. But this character knows now or just learned that sometimes it is our fault too. And in death we cannot change, but grow from what we did. But this stanza does a great thing to tell more of the story withinthe poem and connect to the first stanza.

The first line in the third stanza is a bit of a contrast to the first two stanza and unique I might add, because this is where the poem gets a bit dark and where this person yearns for their love but instead found the opposite of what they wanted which of course is death. The truth is revealed here and the character now knows they can't take back what has already happened. I sense here the sadness starting to seep through and take over everything.

You will remain this empty shell, this is a great line that tells me that you used to be a happy all around loving life person, but you also show how one thing can change that. In a second the whole world around you has shattered and inside you are half the man you used to be. You show the pain on the outside maybe from tears? But everyone does grieve in their own way.

The last line wraps up the poem nicely and now your life is completey shrouded in darkness and there is no light coming through. The cemetery is a great scene when it comes to sad poems and I really like how you wrote your poem around it, because for me it does work well to capture the message while showing the readers that imagery and having them keep the knowledge of the cemetery in the back of their mind. I saw no technical errors. Well crafted poem!

I definitely can relate. Feeling the same way right now. Great work.

You expressed here what I had felt for years. Well written

I would say welcome back - but this is from a while ago S. I enjoyed the rhyming in this one. And the trust you put in someone. I am sorry it didn't work out.

excellent little piece.