Comments : Walking a Frozen Road Before Midnight

  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Love this piece, it's uplifting and full of life! I have to say though, my friend talked my and my mom's ear off the other night when it was probably below freezing on our country roads... and it was miserable haha. The converse tennis shoes line made me think of that as that was what I was wearing and they got so numb waiting for him to finish his story!

    But the whole idea of feeling alive, being able to reflect and know where you stand, that's what we all need sometimes. That last line is so hopeful :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Naughtymouse

    There are times Syrup when you kill me with your writing xx

  • 9 years ago

    by Sunshine

    I love this poem, I love the feeling it has given me while reading it, and I love the power I felt within your words.

    Positive vibes everywhere, in every word. I know some people would think I'm insane for thinking of such positive thoughts regarding a poem about walking a frozen road, but I think we both come from the same place.

    And the whole images you crafted, are things I'm keen of and moments that I DO feel alive being in your shoes. Just awesome imagery Andrea, I can see myself taking this walk. Well done.

    I do have a coupe of suggestions if I may;

    -and the echo of my footprints
    woke up spirits from the fallen sky.

    ^ I know you meant footprints waking the spirits up but the way it's currently set, grammar wise the meaning is not complete;
    you either should say:

    footprints
    woke up the spirits from the fallen sky

    or

    footprints
    woke spirits up from the fallen sky..

    other wise you've linked the verb to the footprints rather than the action of waking up. If you know what I mean. You still have other options, if you do read it again you'll get what I'm referring to. It's not me, punctuation sucks :P

    Also;

    a somber
    time to reflect on memories and realizing
    just how strong I truly am.

    ^ you have a parallel structure minor issue here;
    it should be " a somber time to reflect and--realize".
    It isn't right to use gerund after reflect, unless you decide to say reflecting-realizing..

    Anyway your choice, just thought to point them out for you.

    Keep the awesome, awesome work.

    • 9 years ago

      by Maple Tree

      All fixed, thank you Nana, love you

  • 9 years ago

    by Liz

    My feet are always cold, so I can relate to this. Kidding. Lol. Well, only half kidding (they really are always cold. =P)
    But seriously, this is beautiful. I'm in love with the last stanza and line. It's inspiring.

  • 9 years ago

    by Kakera

    Oh hun this is absolutely lovely!

  • 9 years ago

    by uttAm

    This is indeed a great poem....really loved it!!