My passions and falsehoods about what it means to be free. They ripped me from your warmth. They stripped the layers off so all thats left of us is raw and tender. Our open hearts now bruised and bleeding. Bare tissue exposed.
I couldn't let you know. I didn't want to expose the secret I kept. You loved me, so how could I tell you....
That I hated myself.
Instead I projected. On you, who loved me. I saw flaws, found reasons. Pushed you and hurt you til we both felt broken. Kept you out of the darkness inside my head. From knowing my reality.
Pushed you away and then reeled you back in. The terrible cycle of someone unsure. Not knowing myself and my brain, mind changing and feelings hurt. A guppy without bones. A lost little girl inside a clouded fog searching for salvation.
I'm pathetic. You deserve the world. And me, nothing. Now you are free, and I am not. Imprisoned by obscurity and the opinions about myself.
