A way in is easier than the one out.
I wish I would have known that much earlier
With a thought process of an excited child I chose the wrong path
I made the mistake of not knowing myself and moving on quickly
Blind
Blinded by my ignorance and lack of knowledge
I find myself in hurt
Fun for the moment
That moment is long gone as I fade into reality
Freedom is all I want
It will be long before I am granted such freedom from my oppression
There are easier ways out but I will not be around to see the benefit of such
I will stay and endure the mental torture of our new age oppression
I wish I could enjoy the freedom of her caress
Her smile
Her love and care
His guidance
His truth
His wisdom
Their worry
Their warmth
Their open arms
Its far but I need to hang in
Long away
I will earn my freedom with time
Sweat
Blood
Pain
Everyday digging deep into my heart and soul
A mistake I regret and will continue to regret until it's over
My mistakes should not be shared with others
But remembered by myself to be able to share what I have learned
Happiness will not be achieved here but somewhere that I can bask in freedom
The ones who make life bearable are not among me in my time of need
I will continue to love and have faith in those who have it in me
My heart grows for their love and companionship
All these years thinking I can do it alone
To come to the realization that I am truly weak
I wish for a alternate to this reality
Where I can freely pursue my happiness
Alone in the dark in my most desperate of times
The only person I have is myself for now
The people I have left behind
I pray they will be there when I return
My real friends
Family
Love is something that should be earned and kept
Not taken for granted due to my lack of knowledge for compassion
I would give so much for that freedom again
To be with those who love and live
I was not made to wallow in my own pain
Self inflicted and in a world of affliction
I want to atone for my sins towards myself
I don't know how just yet
I will not accept death just yet
Death by my hands is a sin in which I would not want to atone for anyway
The final option in which I am so far from
I sit in my dark hole waiting for glimmer of light
To shine before my inner eyes
To penetrate my soul and mind
I cling on to the smallest bit of hope
For that bit is all I have now
My life is a struggle at this point and I am my worst enemy
I will continue to find myself and obtain the happiness I have been longing for
I am still here
