Can I have a moment? Can you lend me an ear?
I've got questions that others would rather not hear.
All I need is a minute, I promise, I swear.
I know that you're busy all the way up there.
Rock of Ages, cleft for me,
Honestly?
What do you see in me?
You feed me, clothe me, showers of love;
All of that good stuff sent from above.
But here is my question, the darkest, the worst.
Although I am certain that I'm not the first.
I've asked it often, let it stew by itself,
But
Why do I hate the very thought of myself?
The thought that I'm wasting such precious air,
Stealing it from someone more worthy out there.
Inhale, exhale, fighting to breathe,
The world would be better off without me, I believe.
I can feel it inside me, ripping apart.
The gnawing, the tearing, the cries of my heart.
The blood flowing inside me, wanting release,
The slice of a razor is my only peace.
Why am I drowning in my own tears?
My solace is suddenly gone, disappears.
With it goes my sanity, my happiness too
My loved ones would cry if they only knew.
But I guess what I'm asking, praying at best,
Is please.
Please.
Give my heart a rest.
I'm tired of cutting, and sobbing and crying.
I feel like my insides are gradually dying.
I want to be happy, let my loved ones know
That the old me is back, and I'll never go.
My final question can only be this:
Please help me find my solace and bliss
Thank you for listening, we'll chat again soon.
But for now I'll just pray I survive this typhoon.
