It's meaningless.
All of it.
All of the struggle, torment, triumph, happiness.
It's an illusion.
A ride.
What happens here matters only to you and only while you're here.
Am I supposed to be good for fear of failing some ultimate test?
There's no room for the simple joy of being good in that philosophy.
But venturing outside of this comfortable world
of absolute justice,
of divine order,
Things are scarier still.
No ultimate consequence?
No order?
...No afterlife?
Scary shit.
But there is subtle beauty in this interpretation.
Inherent meaning is inherently meaningless.
It exists only in individual interpretations.
We ascribe meaning to our experiences.
To do otherwise is desperate madness.
I write these rambling nothings because I need to believe that the way I see the world is real.
I need to believe I exist.
