...Dreams Until Reality...
The day of you leaving while i was still at your house,
i seen you walk thru the door and my heart sank down
into the couch.
You walked in & we exchanged words as you headed staright
to your room, i knew you were going to pack.
Meanwhile youre clueless cause i was facing these emotions of
having to fight my tears back.
I didnt think that your absence would hit me as hard as it did.
I knew i couldnt let you see me cry, not right now, not like this.
So I bite my lip as you begin to ask "if i was alright".
Even thou i was wasnt and wanted to beg you not to go,
I held it in and replied "yea baby im fine"
The ride to take the girls & I home was clouded with an awkward
silence. Still trying to hold back my tears as i sang along to the
sad songs on the radio, i almost could no longer hide it.
As you told the girls "bye" Riah asked "where you were going?"
You Replied ":I have to go to work, & to be good for mommy, Ill be back before you know it".
I Knew that this was it.
The moment of truth as I leaned in to give you a kiss so that you could leave. I wrapped my arms tightly around you like it was the last time we'd ever see.
All i could think in those short moments of goodbye is how i didnt realize how much i Loved/Needed you untill now.
It made me see that youre the one my heart truly loves & shouldnt have pushed out.
I couldnt help but to daydream Hrs Later to myself even thou by now i knew you were long gone.
Far away out of my grasps, & thats when it hits me that honestly without you i felt all alone.
No kids with me for the night, theyre all off to grandmas with their own plans. All i had was my Teddy Bear & the distance between the miles in our hands.
We just got off the phone, & i couldnt stop the tears from falling.
The sound of your voice just made it even harder to keep away the pain my brain didnt want to keep recalling.
Its not all bad, becuase im glad i miss you that much to even shed my tears. I know youll be back soon and my smile will return & grinning frm ear to ear.
I cant wait till i get to jump in your arms & feel your warm body up against mine.
Only then will i be a peace, with a peice of my heart thats returned to my side.
