Sleeping With Memories

Very nicely written, well structured, catching the attention but also very sad! Life is not easy! It has ups and downs throughout and you have hopefully had most of your major downs! I know it is hard for you, but try to take opportunities in all aspects of life as they arise! They may not last forever but to miss the happy, fulfilling parts of life, however temporary, could leave a very one sided and unhappy life!

I like the entrance of this piece, eye catching and it took me a minute reading each line trying to figure it out how each words expresses its own action, and indeed it helps to dramatize the story the way it is being narrated. Perfect timing, though it might also be true to me. It does happening to everyone. Very good Safie

The title of this poem drew me in - sleeping with memories - that is such beautiful imagery. In reading this I felt the loss of someone who means the world to you, loss of the person who completes you. And there is so much sad in you, sad dancing a tarantella with guilt from these lines -

"I was so caught up between fears
that I didn't give our love a chance,"

Loss of someone who is part of your world is heart breaking, but the knife sinks a little deeper when it feels like somehow them leave was somehow partly your fault.

"and now I cry myself to sleep every night
as I try to hold on to every memory
that you and I had ever made."

Though very sad, this part created beautiful imagery in my head. I saw a little figure on a cloud, grabbing at floating objects just above her reach, while trying not to drop the objects already spilling out of her full arms. When someone is gone, every memory seems important, is a way to have that person closer. We want them all.

Like MaryAnne said on your other I understand this piece so much more than I should. And I know it's personal to you, just like reading it turned it into something personal to me, so I'm going to limit this comment (please don't be upset by this).

We were so young and naive,
but I knew you would be everything I needed
to get through this life of mine.

^ This is an interesting intro but it definitely set your tone and began to convey your mood. The style you chose to make this stand out through was also very fitting. Nice job.

The smell of death struck me when you left,
and why, oh why, did I believe that nothing
could take you away from me?

^ The first line here is an image or rather sense that is different and interpreted uniquely for each and every one of us, but it's still potent and captivating (in a heartbroken way). In your other two lines you begin to tell your story or create your scene a little more, I like how you make it general and relateable but still yours.

I was so caught up between fears
that I didn't give our love a chance,
and now I cry myself to sleep every night
as I try to hold on to every memory
that you and I had ever made.

^ Way too many people know what this is like in some form or another. Amazing use of word choice, great tie to everything as well.