I like the top version best.

Also, if you drop "the" & ";" from line four it's a perfect tanka:
- first the syllable count,
- more importantly "the" unnecessarily directs the reader while ";" causes a stop where it should flow.
Also, "and" [line 3] does not usually need a semicolon to proceed it.

You make everything being watched here .. Haha .. Everything is interellated in a way or another (:

--- MKKK

Hmmm...each one gives a picture for the reader to see in fact I agree with Daishel it feels like everything is been watched!