Comments : Thinking Out Loud

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    The ironic fact of a safety pin
    is that it comforts my inner pain
    by creating an external release.

    ^ wow saffie This is such a thought provoking start to the poem. I love how people in poetry take one object and make it their main subject and you have done this so well here. The safety pin is not a lot of people think about, and you did a great job with turning it around and I loved the word ironic in this poem as well . It give you safety on the inside yes, but outside it does not.

    Etching words into my arm-
    so deep that I almost penetrate my skeleton...
    but at least then I will know I am alive.

    ^ This stanza really made me ponder for a while. There is so much going on here and it is a great connecting stanza for the first, because you gripped the readers minds with the first and then you turn it around and make it dark and sad, but I love how you stayed with the same emotions throughout the whole poem, and it is clear here that no matter what writers need to write, and in a sad way self harm can help sometimes.

    And the irony of this safety pin
    is that it occupies my thoughts daily,
    giving my emotions a safety net to fall back on.

    ^ Any emotion makes you feel alive inside, even sadness, and this is a great way to end the poem, we all need something to fall back on no matter what that thing is. I loved this write though because it shows that everyone can be human even though some of us don't feel alive. 5/5 nominated

  • 9 years ago

    by Zabadak

    Publish your works, Saffie! Even people who have never found themselves in a situation where they needed to self-harm - other adults, other children, parents, need to know why some do have a need to do this as a release from events in their lives.

    The poem itself is another stunner, great imagery and simple, straight description of an almost obsessive need for the pin and self-harm, to focus the mind on the pain and distract from that which is causing the need, either emotional/physical or mental turmoil.

    I wish I had had this, and other poems of yours, at my fingertips when I was an HT! What a resource to be used with children experiencing similar trauma, and for parents to help them understand what their child is going through and why they do things like self- harm.

    Worth a thought?