Comments : Destination 21

  • 9 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    A new poem..... Oh I know you don't post often but when you do... wham!!! I love and admire this poem very much!!!

  • 9 years ago

    by GB

    Thank you very much for writing this, your poetry is much missed.

  • 9 years ago

    by WW

    Loved this! Great initial hook that you maintain through the entire piece. It's flow is phenomenal. It's emotion is raw and straight up. The concept and message was given with awesome imagery.

    I feel like it would add to the aesthetics of the piece if you went through and revised the capitalization that seems random and overlooked. But that's the only thing! Loved it, and thanks for sharing.

    -Zack

  • 9 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    This is lovely best friend. Sad but its true. I never thought I'd see 18 or 21 because of my own demons but here I am at 23. It's sad that some people dream of 21 but never see it because of violence and hatred. Wise beyond your years as long as I've known you. :] Brilliant. -Nik

  • 9 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    It appals me that we are back to this state. In the 1950s a vast many of us did not believe we'd make it to adulthood, believing instead we'd die in nuclear incineration, some bush war or a street riot. The poem beautifully expresses the conundrum of living at the end time during youth: "It breaks my heart / to see 21 being hailed / like that of old age..." You capture the absurdity easily as well: "like an algebraic equation / slipped between the 2 and 1 / Apparently "x" equaled unreachable"
    You are right "tomorrow isn't promised" but when the hope for tomorrow is dashed, where do we go?

  • 9 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    Congratulations on your win! :) 5/5

    -Moria Bella Bair-

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Its heart breaking to see innocent young lives been taken advantaged of and thrown into a vicious circle of violence in all forms which results in their death drawing a hopeless future of the younger generation...touching,.

    Congrats on the win!

  • 9 years ago

    by GB

    Congratulations :)

  • 9 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    Judging Comment

    This truly makes one think how tragic live is to humans all over the world. I was curious about the title since I'm 21 and after I read this deeply motivating poem, I'm tempted to start praying right about because I am thankful I have made this far in life unlike some children that know they don't see themselves being twenty-one due to the location of where they live or because of the domestic abuse they withstand. Really opens the eyes of a person that doesn't see this kind of situation in their every day life, and those that do it makes them simply acknowledge it and keep on living. Really beautiful and surreal of how people view the world, great job at portraying this.

    - Moria Bella Bair -

  • 8 years ago

    by Angel Tears

    This poem tugged at my heart. It brought out all of the emotions associated with the loss of life too soon. Thank you for sharing.

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    I have been looking through peoples older stuff and commenting on the one with the title that catches my eye and of course his one was one of those.

    For some reason the title drew me in and initially I thought it was literally about a journey on a bus labelled 21 and how wrong I was though it was about life's journey ending way too soon....

    This really gave me Goosebumps and brought tears to my eyes because 21 is no age to die at all in any circumstance but it seems with all the wars, terror attacks and violence in general many innocent children die in the crossfire which is devastating. I think one day we will all be wiped out because it seems to get worse and worse each month.

    You did a unique job of explaining life needs to be lived (basically) because none of us know when our time is and I am glad this made front page.

    Em