Comments : Woman Child. (Chain Haiku)

  • 9 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    Once Monday comes I'm going to nominate this piece because it's too strong not to have a chance to be seen by many.

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Like Mori has said this poem is great, wow. It is a wonder how people can write such small lines yet put so much meaning and imagery in them. This seems to be about a timeframe about life, going from 5 years old to 20 years old. But in between it all there is a lot of pain that you have went through. I love here how you tell a story through each stanza and really they could be formed into their own poem. The imagery here you show the reader how you were feeling in each part. That to me makes this poem brilliant, and the way you don't have to use metaphor until the end, and even then it is not a lot. You have so much meaning throughout this. wonderful write. 5/5

    • 9 years ago

      by Linda

      The five year old is more of the internalized child the speaker is feeling. She's twenty, but doesn't feel like she's grown, because she's vulnerable. Thanks!

  • 9 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Do you know what - there are many people in this world who will read this and not truly understand what its real meaning is.... and then there are many people who will know exactly what you mean, and will feel comforted that they are not the only one going through this, and also relieved that you have worded it so clearly in a way they would struggle to express.

    I think everything you have mentioned is correct, it rings true, one day you are small and vulnerable, and life starts to deal you unfair cards, and before you blink you are suddenly an adult, but feel like you are still small and vulnerable. It is like you miss out on the "growing up" that other children seem to have had, and perhaps there will always be that sense of loss, and longing for what could have been, and like you rightly state ... Should have been.

    I like the short form again, but to be honest, I was too involved reading this poem that I didn't see it as a form at all.

    Really powerful write.
    Thank you for sharing :)

    P.s your title is a perfect match!!

    Wish I had noticed this earlier so I could have nominated it!

  • 9 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Judging Comment:

    This took me down memory lane...from birth to
    adult hood mothers are the ones who give us
    courage, protect us as well as teach us the right
    path to follow. However old we are the moment
    a mother places her hand or embrace us, the
    childlike feeling emerges. This made me very sad
    to read for I miss my mother dearly at the same
    time this Haiku has captured the sentiments a child feels I each stage & situation...touching.

  • 9 years ago

    by Ben Pickard

    You really are a very clever writer. You are able to do so much with so little - you don't waste any space in your work.