Machorra

by Yakari Gabriel   May 19, 2015


She tells me, that people have been telling her
that I'm queer. says "Yo no creo que Dios me castige asi,
con una hija lesbiana". Lesbiana, machorra, pahara.
in her mouth, all of these words sound like bad news.
I don't think, she thinks of it as bad, but she speaks out
of a place that's far too patriarchal, she is afraid of what people
will say. "Todo los dias es otra, siempre andan muheres buscandote.
tienes mas muheres que un hombre con plata". They are
always looking for me, always another one. Every week a new one.
I tell her to leave me alone. I tell her to stop believing things people say.
But I don't tell her that its her I am looking for.
I do no tell her that I discover women, then
leave cause they can't love in the way she was supposed to.
lets not go in depth, this is not some type of trauma
I need to let go off.

at 21, my mother lived with both her
parents. with all of her siblings, in her
own motherland. her house was full of
abuse, disguised as togetherness

my loneliness is foreign to her.
my sexuality a question mark.
but I'm just looking for her.

for her
for her

authors note :
"Machorra" is a spanish slang for lesbian or a woman that acts like a man.

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Latest Comments

  • 9 years ago

    by GB

    Weekly Contest May 25th
    Judging comment:

    A poem that speaks without need for similes, metaphors, or complicated kind of imagery. A poem of genuine, raw and very deep concept.
    A beautiful introduction and use of different language recognized in the first part of the piece, it added a touch of reality and personified the thoughts of the main character. Shifting into the second part which was easier to tell, the writer stated in few lines the reasons of her agony, still leaving more space to the reader to ponder upon her last words and search for truth lost between a mother and a daughter. More than fantastic read.

  • 9 years ago

    by Liz

    I actually kind of like that there is no translation. This reads to me as spoken word, and the fact that there isn't one just gives it a more raw, personal feeling.

    When you revealed what it was that you were looking for in those women I felt sort of overcome with a sense of sadnessn and anger. I think because to an extent, I can relate. Usually a young girl is going around with different men because she never had that father figure, but it's completely different in this case. She was there, but not in the way she's supposed to. And that really is sad.

    Just a couple of things- the H in muher/es and pahara should be J. Mujer/es and pajara.
    Also, "I do noT tell her that I discover women..."
    and "let go off" should be "let go of".

    I'm glad this made it to the front page. Congrats on the win!

  • 9 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    I don't this is bad at all but for those who do not speak Spanish please put a translation just a hint of advise. I mean I could read it easily since I'm Hispanic but not everybody knows how to read a foreign language.

    To the story it's amazing how people in a culture does not understand the people within their own families and it's really sad.

  • 9 years ago

    by GB

    ~I don't she thinks she thinks of it as bad

    >>> I don't think she thinks of it as bad,

    Great read, thank you for sharing.

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