My new mum has been so kind to me,
she has kept me for a year,
and for my fourth year birthday
she bought me a doggy cake.
I sleep beside her every night
beneath the covers of her bed,
in fact I never leave her side at all,
not even when she needs to pee.
We go out for walks together,
though I would rather stay at home,
she treats me so much better
when we are just alone.
She drags me up to everyone
so that they can say hello,
but their paws are just so scary
that I begin to cower low.
They force their paws upon me
and touch me everywhere,
and even though I don't consent,
they cuddle me so tight.
My owner tells them about my past,
how I'm a rescue dog,
and judging by their reaction,
I can tell the story is sad,
for they invade my space even more
and embrace me with their paws.
As the months went by and seasons changed,
I felt me and my mum begin to drift away.
It seemed like people could only see
the dog that was, and not what's me.
It is like they felt an invisible pain
that everyone felt, but me.
It didn't matter what I did,
she blamed it on my past,
it's like she couldn't let it go,
even though I already had!
I grew so insecure,
a feeling I knew so well,
and the only way I knew how to cope
was to react like I did in the past.
So as I approached my fifth year of being alive,
I got that all familiar feeling that I've felt so many times,
where my owner doesn't love me now
quite as much as she did back then.
And I wonder where that will leave me
in this really confusing world
that never seems to understand me.
