Letting me fall in love

(Slam Poetry)

His minds going 100 miles an hour, racing around the thoughts of love and his brains not wearing a seat belt,
Take a second while I put you in his passenger seat and crash this car. Just get a glimpse of the pain he's felt,
Literally feel the body smash against a wall, feel the permanent scars and damage, and feel your head welt,
But you're not in a car, you're just looking into my dark brown eyes, while I take you on a journey of how love and pain is spelt,

You see, I could, speak to you for hours, relentlessly beating into you these bruised thoughts and beaten dreams,
These tortured mind-frames could leave you breathless, but on a daily basis I'd rather feed you sweetened themes
You see, I'd rather tell you I'm okay, cocky attitude, every day, I'll betray what I portray and only display a happy face.
But rather I've been stuck... I've been stuck in this haze for days, weeks, and months, it stays
Yes, im free, but feel slaved, chained to the feeling of shame yet I am amazed
How I fake the way I behave, afraid to explain how I feel insane, being chased by a demon that won't go away
Then I look at the ground and realize my demon is just my reflection and shadow, and I don't

Mean to be condescending, believe me the message I'm sending has a happy ending, but I've been
Spending, half of my time, bending my mind, pending if I should be tending, to these scars or defending what's ours,
Been depending on your smile, I've been lending on your laughs, I've intended to be sweet just so I can absorb your happiness.
The simple look of your smile, I swear can make a homeless man rich, it could make a villain into a hero, a demon into an angel and even the Devil into a Saint too
I swear your smile could even make Leonardo Da Vinci mad that he never painted you
Mona Lisa would be Jealous

I didn't expect this love. I didn't expect that after only three days of talking I would have already made my mind that I wanted you,
I didn't expect that I would have the audacity and power to turn down sex, cause believe me I wanted to,
Her half naked body spread out across my bed as she takes my hand and rubs it up against her leg, fingers feeling her smooth skin race towards her panties, and a small voice in my head whispers into my mind and says.. you ought to.
But I copped out and dropped out, never fulfilling that motion as I take my hand back away and turn around because a voice that I can only describe as God's word and my intuition that speaks louder than my other voice like a megaphone against a mice's roar and it screams..She's not you.

And its crazy that this will have to happen about 5-6 times before I get the picture. Maybe im just hard headed, I don't know.
all I know is that the feelings in my stomach aren't butterflies, there the knives in my body and heart you've been slowly detaching
and as I, reach for this everlasting, feeling of bliss and harmony, I can't help but thank you...

Thank you for possessing the ability not to just speak to me, but speak TO me, I hear every word you speak
Thank you for possessing the ability to un cloth my armor and disarm my weapons, only you can make me weak
Thank you for loving me and calling me perfect, despite my every flaw that I see inside a mirror when I look at myself
Thank you, but more than my thanks to you, I give my greatest credit and thanks to God,

Thank you God, for making sure I pressed yes when I saw her picture
Thank you God, for speaking to me that day I thought about what the world would be without me,
Thank You God, for continuing to make a presence in my life and never showing Doubt on me,
Thank You God, for creating such a beautiful and wonderful woman, that only the work of your holy hand could make this perfect mold
Thank you God, for allowing me to live every day, and letting me turn another page to watch my story unfold

if my thank you isn't enough don't worry, I would only find another way to reach to your heart to show my gratitude,
i only buy you multiple gifts because I feel like my words and appearance alone isn't worthy enough of your latitude,
I couldn't put your perfection and beauty into words.. If i had to explain it the best way I could I probably would say
your beauty knows no limits, it only knows how to tame the beast inside me, to make me feel love again, to make me feel like I don't know what's hurting
your beauty knows how to remind me to Thank God for my blessings, as he watches upon the clouds looking down as he sees his plans for us working

I don't know what my future holds. I only know that I found myself day after day hugging on to my cold pillow wishing it was you,
my body wrapped in warm cotton fuzzy blankets as every wave of thought crashes into my head hoping that I'd wake up next to you,
everyday being so glad to know you're still mine, literally feeling every gash and cut on my heart heal like a miracle
and since you're not here with me right now, I could only dream of your addicting touch, and wish for your warm hug.
from the bottom of my heart and with every fiber of my being. I thank God and you, for letting me fall in love.