Wow! Really well written, dark poem.

Wow, about speechless over here. This had so much depth and sadness, this person who I assume was such a constant in your life. All of the references like the roses, blade, pills, truly capture the sorrow that you are feeling. The pain that you feel you must release. I think sometimes we feel we can't escape that sadness. When you also wrote about struggling to keep your eyes open, that made me think about how you may question the future or not be able to see it clearly because so much has changed. Those dreams we have may seem far away and unable to obtain, but we can get out of that darkness and reach them. I really liked the last stanza the most I would say, because you talk about the "world" searching for the truth. Perhaps the truth of you or your existence, and you feel that identity in your secrets, in what others can't easily see. They must dig deeper to see what you are going through.