Tonight, We'll Change.

I haven't changed for you. But I've changed over the past year. I've decided bleeding secrets isn't the way to live life. We must stop fostering our pain in crevices where mold grows and we keep returning to memories that poison us - there is no spring in the past. Yet we can spring from it.

Tonight, I'll pray to God. I'll ask the saints to intervene. I'll collapse onto old, tired kneelers as I know you are doing the same in the choir loft. I'll ask God that we remain. That we stay the same. That we don't become distant hearts.

That love doesn't make us foreign. It should help us learn.

Tonight, I'll open the letters of my heart to you and read them aloud, like fourteen months ago. I'll be shaking like a burning sun. I'll be scared to meet your eyes but I know I can't keep inking silence onto my skin. I must speak.

Because if we are not honest with ourselves first, who will be? Tonight, I'm sure we'll change. But if I can't express to you the truths I feel, I'll keep imprisoning myself in a world - a darkness - I created.

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Written 6/10/15 @ 12:23 PM
Going to do something I've thought about doing for months now. No one can make the decision for me and it might cause a relationship to be awkward, but this person means too much to me to simply ignore it.