Apart from being beautifully put together; perfect in formation, structure and impact; this poem is a hugely powerful statement! I don't know whether you meant it to be read as a quiet poem, or one with lots of shouting, but even though there are no exclamation marks to indicate it, when it is read, I automatically hear loud, forceful sections where you are making points, and quieter, apologetic sections where you are saying that you cannot be what she wants you to be...and I have always agreed with that, even though I have not said it. You cannot be the daughter that replaces her son, and if she can't change that, it will hinder you from moving on...and you must move on! Very powerful work, Saffie! I can see the pain on both sides, which is sad, but I can also feel the power within you! Having said that, I also know how difficult it would be for you to cut contact with her, because I recognise the empathy you have for others and how they feel! Cracking, emotionally charged poem, Saffie! I really like it!

I love this poignant and sad poem about the loss of a profoundly loved young man by a mother and girlfriend. The developing conflict that is arising between the mum and girlfriend from what probably started out as a very supportive relationship, has become something that is certainly not good for either character. This is a superbly written piece of work, describing a situation that the author is experiencing, but is also applicable to many other people around the globe. The poem is forceful, but tenderness is also present, and these characteristics give a comfortable balance to both characters, their loss, and what can surely only result in a relations breakdown. Superb work!

That sounds like something I can relate to about my sister.. it gets bitter all times.
This is a beautiful poem.
Profound with words.
Greatly layed...

I hate to see the burden brought upon the writer( person talking) of which it happens not to one but to many especially to army widows.
If it's of any consolation I would say it is okay but i'm not sure it would count.
When one is hurting the family should stop inflicting more pain to those left behind and instead console them and be supportive with love and peace.

I love the whole piece.
5/5