Comments : January Was Papery!

  • 9 years ago

    by Beautiful Soul

    Have you grown fond of times like this?
    When the twilight is soulful
    and the whispering lilies hide their secrets
    in an ode that was written for you --
    remorse is engulfing the sky,
    pile by pile;
    clock towers are burnt,
    forcing hourglasses to stay still
    and let the sands be wasting out.

    ^ I love the imagery you have used here. Time really is a strange thing isn't it and when we feel sad or depressed, it seems to flow differently then when we are happy or joyful. The first stanza here does an excellent job in its wording and metaphors, and through my eyes I see time flowing slowly and the beauty you have in this person you are speaking of here. The lilies are a metaphor for something beautiful.

    I once dreamt of nights like this,
    wherein February was a forest of Pines
    (I forgot what January was),
    and March was an artificial lake;
    wherein I was murdered in the city gates,
    found in the sub-urbs with no stories to tell,
    and buried in a coastal road that leads
    to absolutely nowhere
    but your home...

    ...and I haven't been back there
    since then.

    ^ wow this holds so much sadness here. I am not sure what it means exactly, but guessing through my eyes I see that day in February being the focal point of the poem itself and this home in the woods, is a place that means a lot to you, because you seem to have fond memories, there. Through your eyes though there is pain and sorrow from loss of a loved one or maybe a friend, or maybe it is about a disaster that has happened in last February. it is hard to say, but I think this poem is really beautiful, because the metaphors are not over played. 5/5 nominated

  • 9 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    Hmm the first stanza kept leaping from one visual image to another and it took me on a ride to be honest. I'll be a liar if I didn't say it's trippy for me to read this since I haven't had coffee in a while but that's because I can't wait to go back home and drink coffee every single day that's not caffeine-free. Anyways this stanza is quite beautiful.

    clock towers are burnt,
    forcing hourglasses to stay still
    and let the sands be wasting out.
    ^
    That was my favorite part in the first paragraph, probably because I have a thing with time, I really do enjoy it. Also this is the part where it shows (to me) the most emotion throughout the stanza.

    Omg! I love the last paragraph and the last sentence. I'm shocked and floored and amazed at this! I didn't necessarily like the beginning stanza (so sorry my friend) but this part is...so stunning! I loved reading it, it not only made me open my eyes but it moved my deaden heart and it's so well made. Oh dear lord I loved it so much. Good job honey! :)

  • 9 years ago

    by Britt

    What a poem full of imagery... whispering lilies holding secrets...I really love the idea of that.

    This poem is beautiful. It's soft, like I want to read it in a whisper myself.. and is just so elegant.

    The last chunk of lines is what struck me the most.. buried in a coastal road that leads to absolutely nowhere but your home... That's powerful. Love this poem.

  • 8 years ago

    by Em

    Have you grown fond of times like this?
    When the twilight is soulful
    and the whispering lilies hide their secrets
    in an ode that was written for you --
    remorse is engulfing the sky,
    pile by pile;
    clock towers are burnt,
    forcing hourglasses to stay still
    and let the sands be washing out.
    ^^
    What a beautiful opening stanza full of metaphors and I believe the lollies are a metaphor for something wonderful as they seem to be doing a good job of hiding something. How times change, we can have something so beautiful that turns so sour and vice versa. You paint a lovely picture here.

    I once dreamt of nights like this,
    wherein February was a forest of Pines
    (I forgot what January was),
    and March was an artificial lake;
    wherein I was murdered in the city gates,
    found in the sub-urbs with no stories to tell,
    and buried in a coastal road that leads
    to absolutely nowhere
    but your home...
    ^^
    I believe the February you speak of here holds many fond memories like the house you have also spoken of. You maybe forgot January because it was such a bliss month to be with that person but then bam comes Feb and it's a memorable month in a sad way I feel because there is a sobriety in this stanza.

    ...and I haven't been back there
    since then
    ^^
    This is a very blunt ending to such a lovely piece but I know that to forget it needed saying. Just my interpretations :)

    Em