Comments : Fantasy rule

  • 9 years ago

    by -Choke-On-MY-Halo-

    Second line since it's present tense it should be "kisses".

    Fourth line again it's supposed to be going with the flow should be "suffers".

    After "dream" on the fifth line I think ";" would be nice.

    Otherwise than those corrections this is a very sweet short poem. It's very loving and yet blunt on its own.

    Great read. 5/5

    - Moria Bella Knight -

    • 9 years ago

      by DarkLight

      Always happy to learn from others. Thank you.