With a heritage of broken heart
I watch you.
Do you wonder what it would be like if we stayed together?
Heavy feelings of disappointment breaks my heart as I look down the memory lane of love
your smile,
your perfume,
soft touch like cotton.
Do you stay up late thinking why it couldn't be?
Why it had to be?
I do.
I do.
I do think of you each night,
thanking the moment of pain and anger
as it try to consume me from inside.
I let regret out and watch the color of happiness paint patches of hope and joyful tomorrow.
Not because I care of what sun rise will bring,
because it's a sign of a death to come.
They ask questions,
I send them answers,
not correct,
only something to make them forget am dying.
They say, "what is money for when you can't use it to prolong life on earth?"
"What is death for if it can't invest in my money?" I ask.
For long I have known,
life was growing short for me.
So I kept walking away from anything that will make me vulnerable to reality that my day is soon.
Not for being afraid or cowardice to face life,
the imagination of them mourning hurts,
and so I walk.
I walk away from the slip of joy that makes me feel human,
yet I remain human.
I will leave a note,
not to you,
but to those I walk with in my heart,
to let them know cancer is just an illness,
make no mistake like I did.
Amends are for addicts.
Friendship if for camp kids
Love is for family and friends
Truth is for life
Mine is grave.
I will see you again.
My goodbye to you.
