Meaningless words that are my thoughts

You think you know what you feel
but do you really?
i don't know whats on the inside
i can't understand myself
i don't even know whats happening
i just know its so surreal
filled with pain and death it is.
life
but life must go on
the hardest thing in the world
is to live in it
the easiest part of living
is dying
and pain is just a word
with a side effect of tears
pain is just 4 letters
cramming something huge into something small
we are all controlled by fear
victims of our ideas of what pain means
constantly scared of some unseen evil
lurking in the shadows and the darkness
paranoid, i walk the streets alone
and in the pitch black dead of night
i scream
and then theres nothing
but nothing is nothing
for everything is something and nothing is nothing
i am just alone with your judging eyes

*this isn't really a poem so much as my thoughts about what life is for me written in exactly the way they go through my head, please rate and comment it would mean alot, thanks.*