Comments : A Letter for Succor

  • 9 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Beautiful piece. I feel the urgency, the questioning, the reflection of yourself, the yearning of your soul for that hope and companionship. To know where to belong. I think the repetition of "find me" works well to close the poem, like a mantra you must keep repeating so you don't give up.

    Few suggestions:
    - In the first stanza, sixth line, in my opinion it would read better if "could" became "can"
    - Fifth stanza: "breathe" should be "breath".

    I also think it would read more smoothly if not every line had the first letter capitalized, only if it was a new thought or new start... but it's up to you how you format/ structure this piece.

    Thanks for sharing, keep writing!

  • 9 years ago

    by Sunshine

    This is really really beautiful...I wish I didnt miss this poem.
    Such a very thoughtful poem.

    Happy to have read!